To a large extent, we are all defined by the relationships we nurture. There is, however, one relationship that defines us more than any other. And that is one’s relationship with oneself. It is this relationship with oneself that allows one to see a bigger picture and to know the place of all the other relationships in one’s life. This is a lesson that’s learnt best from as early on as possible, to avoid a great deal of pain that comes from wrong contact, expectation and attachment.
I must add here that attachment has got nothing to do with love. When we look at the bigger picture, there is a vision of freedom and oneness; that is love. On the other hand, the more attachments we have at the transactional level, the more we lose that freedom. The greatest freedom we have as individuals is to free our minds, as the mind is the seat of all attachments.
But to free your mind, you must first know where it is! Enter Sri Krishna in the 10th verse of the 13th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita! He tells Arjuna that our minds are stuck with our family members, our homes, things that we want to happen and things that we don’t want to happen! When we grow attached to something or someone, we can’t see beyond. In fact, we don’t want to see beyond because we even get attached to our attachments themselves. What a prison!
When it comes to the attachments that we try to add to our emails, they fail when we have low-speed or lost connectivity. It’s so different from life! In life, our attachments fail or are broken when our connectivity to the Higher is clear, high-speed and uninterrupted. What is the Higher? Call it what you want – God, the Self, energy or even the bigger picture. Nay, the biggest possible picture!
Remaining unattached is easier said than done. We stand a better chance to overcome our attachments when we take time out to reflect upon past experiences and what they should have taught us so that we don’t repeat certain mistakes. It is your mind – watch it and watch out! There is a Zen proverb that says, ‘Let go or be dragged’. And mind you, that which is dragged is sooner or later dropped! In other words, drop or be dropped. It is important to give things the attention that they deserve and not more. We must be able to move on.
An unhealthy, dependent, clingy mind latches on and doesn’t let go. It just doesn’t forget what it should and when it should. Going back to our connectivity example, don’t we have to ‘Forget Network’ to ensure that we are on the right connection? In life too, very often we must ‘forget’ small, petty and unhelpful connections to be able to ‘stay connected’ where it matters most.