I Swear!

A group of friends and I were visiting a famous pilgrimage spot in Maharashtra. The men accompanying me were colleagues from work and all of them were religiously inclined. We made the trip on a weekday expecting it to be less crowded. This temple was the last of the three other big temples we visited the same day. The first few temples were reasonably empty and we had a quick and close darshan of the deities. In this last temple, we found ourselves at the end of a line snaking past a kilometre easily. It took us nearly three hours to finally reach the sanctum sanctorum for darshan from where we were hastily pushed out by the attenders. Just as we stepped out, one of my friends, in sheer exasperation, let out a cuss word!In the queue to the garbhagriha, I noticed families and children around me. Some of them were bored beyond their wits. A couple of people were discussing the local elections. One person jostled to get ahead, and the couple ahead of this man turned around and cursed him aloud!All of this was happening amidst thousands of devotees chanting ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ and ‘Bam Bam Bhola’. The irony was painful. In the case of my friend, I reprimanded him right away. But what could I say to absolute strangers, who were unaware of the sanctity of the very ground they stood on? Even worse, whose foul words could have easily been picked up by the children around.Cut to a few weeks later, I was attending my cousin’s wedding. The who’s who of the whole family were there. Beautiful decor, aunts and uncles catching up with the next generation, mangala vadyam (auspicious music) punctuating the air with melodious notes, symbols of prosperity and happiness everywhere. It was all hunky dory. The weather was steadily getting hot and humid. The buffet hall was crowded. Suddenly, the toddlers became cranky. The elders got jittery. The youngsters milled about huffing and puffing. A small inconvenience, and my cousin swore aloud! I shot darts in his direction..‘What?’‘What what?! How can you swear? That too in public, when amongst elders and children?’‘It’s not like they don’t know these words.’‘That’s beside the point. It is uncivil to swear. Further, the words you used denigrate the dignity of women.’‘It’s quite normal, no? I have heard even women use it.’‘That doesn’t justify it.’We both sunk into an uncomfortable silence. He was unwilling to apologise, I was too enraged to drive sense into an unwilling listener. On both occasions—at the temple and at the wedding—over everything holy and sacred, it just took a few words to defile the whole experience.Call me old-schooled, but choosing abusive words and uncivil language is totally uncool. It shows a compromise in one’s dignity where the ‘swearer’ is okay with demeaning the other person or their family or the women in their family, specifically.We come from a culture in which we greet one another by honouring the divine presence within. How then could we denigrate the goodness within? In moments of rage, disgust, sorrow, excitement, passion, and whenever words fail us, we can take the Lord’s name and save ourselves the misfortune of abusing another person. And if we practice patience, I am sure we can find creative ways to express ourselves without using a cuss word.And typically, a straight comment like ‘This is disappointing’ or ‘You have behaved badly’ or ‘You have hurt me’ or ‘This is beyond amazing’ is more than enough to drive home the point. Why should we stoop so low to defile every experience with a cuss word?Honestly, eliminating foul words from my vocabulary—whatever few—has only made me more mindful and expressive in my communication. It has added great restraint and power to my words. People listen to me with greater attention and patience. Similarly, I am turned off by comedians, celebrities, icons, and anyone else who uses swear words. Even if they have things of great importance to share.I remind myself that whenever we speak, we are the first listeners. Sticking to pleasant and good words uplifts one’s own self. It makes a huge difference to our self-talk as well. Try it, I swear!

I Swear!

Related Stories