Anger Management, the Chinmaya Way

When I explore and review the most inspiring and memorable moments of my life so far, I find that what I have cherished most and learned most from, is a sense of connectedness. Mind you, it is not a natural by-product of communication. Our entire day goes in communicating but we often miss out on true connectedness—those ‘aha’ moments of relating to someone on a non-superficial level, that leave one feeling uplifted in a never-before kind of way. If you have ever had a mentor who pushed you beyond your self-imposed limits to discover a fresh and new way of looking at something by broadening your horizons, you will know exactly what I am referring to.This is not necessarily an in-person experience, nor is it always linear and direct. That’s why we find there is so much to learn simply by reading or hearing about great mentors and their protégés. We are not in the equation at all, yet we can apply someone else’s experience to our own life. If we keep our eyes and ears open we can find means for connection and learning all around us, and these add a particular beauty of dimension, layer and angle to our lives.One such channel that we are fortunate to have access to, is the letters of great thinkers of Bharat—to their contacts, followers and sometimes even to their critics. We may not have met them in person but that doesn’t stop us from learning from their advice. Perhaps the fact that you are reading this piece is a sign that the selected excerpt was meant to reach you via this DM!The first excerpt is from a letter written by Swami Chinmayananda on 26 June 1961..Anger comes to us when our desires or expectations are disturbed and defeated. Anger is nothing but the desire of attachments, expectations or hope - obstructed. Again when you meet such an occasion, at least after the wave of anger has subsided, reconsider the entire situation and try to mentally live and relive a hundred times the same situation - all the time see that you keep yourself smiling. After all, another has an equal right to be bad, mischievous, foul-mouthed, dirty, and undisciplined, as you have the right to be good, cheerful, clean and even peaceful. “Give the devil its due”: accept this as policy - anger will not rise. Also flood the mind with unreserved love for all, always. You will have no occasion to be angry. Improve your health!!!.A loaded paragraph which has something for all of us in there! In less than 130 words, Swami Chinmayananda shares an entire module on anger management! He explains why one gets angry, what anger is and what to do to curb anger. When reading this, you might be thinking, ‘I already relive the situation over and over’, but that’s just brooding. Don’t miss the instruction to keep oneself smiling the whole time—a seemingly simple approach, but powerful when practised. He goes on to encourage the reader to practice positive values but also to accept that others have the right to be who they are, and they would have their own reasons for doing so. Finally alluding to the negative impact that anger has on health, he prescribes the highest dose of ‘unreserved’ love for all—love that is unrestricted, limitless and complete in itself.This is so much more than just a reply to a follower; this is a life hack if I ever saw one!

Anger Management, the Chinmaya Way

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